✖I am more than a mistake✖️
We’re going through a pile of left unsaid Goodbye’s,
We saved and suppressed ourselves from those cries
And skipped the part where we exchange a last set of kisses
And now we’re stuck in a mess of unfinished business.
“I’ll be back.”
I waited 5 hours. I waited 10 days. I waited 7 weeks. I waited 6 months. But I never knew that “I’ll be back” could also mean “Good bye.”
His words are like the rays of the sun during the summer that digs into the depths of my skin. His kisses are like the breeze of the ocean, soothing and cleansing every inch of me. He is both my devil and my angel.
I needed more than heartbreaks
I needed more than love songs
I needed more than tears
I needed more than broken promises
I needed more than empty hopes
I needed you more than anything.
Everything fades out. Even one’s name on the walls in our bedroom.
Those writings on the walls we once made during sleepless nights when we started to fall in love.
And even the vision of someone we love that we kept on holding on during sleepless nights when we started to fall out of love.
Even those pictures during those special moments we treasured when we started to be with someone we love. And now, those pictures just faded into memories we try to forget when we started to live without someone we love. Even the colors in our cheeks. Those pinkish red shades when someone started to make us feel loved. Now those hues and colors faded out when tears rolled down our cheeks and erased them when someone started to make us feel unloved. Remember those footprints on the sand that we made when we walked with someone we love? But now, those footprints had gone and faded out when that someone walked away. That smile that we once had when we thought that this love seemed so right. But this smile has vanished when this love that we once thought seemed so right, went so wrong.
And now, I hope this pain will fade out.. This pain that I acquired when you faded out of my life.
I’ve realized that nothing in life is permanent. Everything is in the other way around. Forever is just a crappy bullshit that people make —- those who are seizing these temporary moments and feelings. And when these cease, people stop believing in forever—- and forever would just be “over”. There are times that the words “good bye” and “farewell” will come out from our mouth, pulling a string in our hearts and making it twitch. We wouldn’t know if we’re gonna miss it after it goes away. And we wouldn’t know if we’re not gonna miss it after it’s gone.
People come into our lives. We meet. We adore. We chase. We love. We sacrifice.
People step out of our lives. We cry. We sulk. We feel pain. We burden ourselves. We promise ourselves not to love again.
But until when can we keep this promise? Promises are temporary, also. After a rain, there’s a rainbow. After the pain, we yearn for a new beau. I think this is mainly because we missed the happiness we once felt while being with someone. Having someone you love by your side and holding our hands brings us happiness. But until when? Happiness is temporary, also. After a while, that someone would leave your side and walk away from you and would let go of your hand. Being separated from someone who is dearly to us kills a part of us.
Sadness is temporary also. There are times we are eager to try again, to make another attempt. Then suddenly.. We’re gonna meet someone who’s going to make this “temporary” thing worthwhile. And waiting for that someone out there is temporary.
Late summer nights,
I felt something that seemed right
That was when we decided to spend these nights together
And started to count days left until forever
Late summer nights,
After all the what if’s and what might’s,
We still decided to fall into each others arms
Thinking that love would be a shot in the arm
It was also during a late summer night,
When you told me it will be alright
After you turn around and leave me behind.
You didn’t even care that my heart would twist and grind
Now it’s winter and no coffees or blankets
Could make me feel warm
Because the coldness dwells in my heart.
-(C.T)
